Nightmares
by MarvelCivILWar
Summary: Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are best friends, even having been inseparable since childhood, even after the disaster that Steve thought had taken his closest friend's life. After getting him back, Bucky is still trying to recover from the traumatic experiences he was exposed to as the Winter Soldier and before. One particular nightmare, for Bucky, will be hard to recover from.
1. Chapter 1

Nightmares

Blood and Violence Warning

Steve sat at the table awkwardly. His fingers tapped rhythmically on the wooden surface. Bucky sat across from him, refusing to meet his gaze. It was about 3:00 in the morning, and Steve had entered Bucky's room in the middle of the night, having caught him having a quite serious nightmare. Of course, Bucky had been quite stubborn to talk about it, throwing it aside like it was the least important thing in the world.

To Steve, it was the complete opposite of that. He was worried for his friend, as none of them had spoken a word since their, "argument." If you can even call it that. It was more like a 'Bucky being stubborn,' type of thing.

Both men seemed surprised at the sudden swap of roles here. Bucky used to be the one comforting Steve about nightmares. Steve was the one who was being stubborn, not wanting to talk about it because it, "wasn't important." Bucky had none of that, obviously, because he was becoming concerned of his friend's well being. But that was in the past, and both of them seemed to be completely different people. Almost. Except they'd both most definitely continue to support and comfort each-other in their time of need.

Steve, not quite surprisingly, was the first one to speak up in the awkward silence that came between them. "Come on, Buck..It'll make you feel better if you talk about it. I can help you."

Bucky let an exasperated sigh escape him. He reluctantly looked up, meeting those bright-blue, pleading eyes that Steve just had to have. It seemed to persuade him into things more times than he could count. "I know, Steve...but I just-It'll hurt you. I don't need you doing something drastic over a silly dream," He looked up, a ghostly shadow of a smirk appearing across his face.

Steve scoffed, clearly catching on to what Bucky was talking about. "That was one time!"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yea. But just for _me?_ That seems a little far-fetched, don't you think?" He already knew what Steve would reply with.

Steve took a breath.

Bucky sighed. _Here it comes..._

"No. Not for me."

"I knew you would say that."

Steve furrowed his brows. "Was it that obvious?"

Bucky chuckled. "Knowing you, yes."

His metal arm rested on the table. He reached it over and gently grabbed the glass of water Steve had brought him. He brought it to his lips and drank, before setting it down with a quiet clink.

After a few moments, Steve asked the same question again. Of course, this time Bucky was expecting it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Bucky sighed and returned his gaze to the somewhat-interesting glass of half-drank water sitting in front of him. "I'll…" he faltered for a moment, before raising his head and meeting Steve's leveled gaze. "I'll tell you in the morning, alright?"

Steve blinked. "But it is morning."

Bucky couldn't help but let out a snort. "I mean, actual morning. When we both have actually gotten some _sleep._"

"Oh. Okay."

_Good enough.._

They both stood up. Bucky quickly returned the now-empty glass to the sink before heading to his room. "Goodnight Steve," He said as he stood in the doorway to his room, watching Steve slip into his, but not before responding with a, "Goodnight Bucky," back to him.

_The Winter Soldier entered the suspiciously quiet room. He had his gun aimed, ready to fire at any incoming threat. Inside the nearly destroyed brain of his, James Buchanan Barnes fought tirelessly to break free of the conditioning. He couldn't let this happen..not again._

_The Soldier approached an opening. One that neither knew that Captain America, or Steve Rogers, was tied up in. _

_He cautiously entered and spotted the chained figure tied to the ground. The man's head was hung, so he didn't seem to be any immediate threat. The soldier lowered his gun only slightly, in case this man had any tricks hidden up his sleeves._

"_Dear god..don't hurt him, please.." Bucky pleaded inside the mind shared by both him and the Winter Soldier._

_There was a sudden change of heart from the Winter Soldier, as he dropped his gun, walked over to the man, lifted his head, and slammed his metal fist into his face. Inside his corrupted and tortured mind, Barnes screamed pleadingly for him to stop. But this nightmare seemed off.._

Bucky Barnes only seemed to be freed from that torturous nightmare by someone grabbing his arm, yelling and pleading with him in a hoarse voice to stop. One that he, horrifically, recognized as Steve's own. But it was weak...filled with pain and torment.

He blinked repeatedly to get a hold of himself. All at once, reality smashed into him like Thor's hammer. He stared at Steve's beaten and bloodied face. His nose definitely wasn't in the right position, and there was blood running from Steve's lips. He seemed to remember the old days, back in the alley, where little Steve was being beaten up by bullies, each time Bucky having to intervene to prevent his friend from getting badly injured...or worse.

But he never thought, in the end, it would eventually be him who caused his friend suffering and pain. But it was.

Bucky gasped and stumbled backward. The bed behind him being the only thing preventing him from collapsing to the ground right then and there.

He noticed Steve cough and then noticed more blood flowing from his mouth.

_He did that._

_He hurt Steve…_

_Steve; his best friend. Inseparable..._

He didn't even notice that he had begun to sob until Steve attempted to sit up and reach him, only to be prevented by his injuries. He fell back quickly, coughing and whispering out a hoarse, "It's okay…" which Bucky barely heard.

After a few moments, he rushed back over to Steve and cradled his beaten and bloodied face. All the while reminding himself that _he did this._

"Steve.." He croaked. "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry..I didn't- I didn't mean for it to go this far..I-I'm sorry.."

He felt a hand brush up against his own. "It's alright, Buck…" he coughed. _More blood. Blood that he caused. He spilled.._

Bucky quickly grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed it with his real hand. His metal one was supporting the back of Steve's head.

"I-I need to get you to a hospital.." Bucky muttered. He quickly and easily picked Steve, who was barely conscious, up into his arms, cradling him to his chest as he ran out the door.

_I swear to god I'm locking myself up for this. I'll turn myself in if I have to, if that's what it takes to keep Steve safe from me.._


	2. Chapter 2

Let's just say that it's been months since that...incident happened. Both Steve and Bucky seem to be recovering, though Bucky has been keeping himself distant. He'd also keep his door locked at night, just in-case he attempted to try anything again while he was asleep.

Nightmares wrecked him often. The fact that he had tried to kill Steve, and would have, if Steve's panicked yells hadn't snapped him out of it.

_If he had killed Steve…_

_He would never forgive himself. Ever. He'd make himself pay for it._

Some of the Avengers had checked in on them, including Tony, Sam, and Natasha. Wanda had also checked in once or twice to make sure that the friends were faring well. They understood the two of them wanting to be left on their own, away from the avengers, for a while. Tony seemed to understand, too, which was a relief for both Steve and Bucky.

But for right now, the two men were relaxing outside. They hadn't completely blocked each other out, as neither of them could possibly cope without the other.

"How are you holding up?" Steve asked. He lowered himself down on the bench next to his friend, glancing at him with a concerned expression.

Bucky noticed this and gave him a ghostly smile. "Not too bad, I guess...What about you?" his eyes flickered to each of the scars left on Steve's face from his sudden attack. It was a reminder of what he had done, and tried to do. As long as those scars were there, so was his guilt. Except it'd always be there anyway.

Steve shrugged and gave an honest smile. "I'll be fine. I've survived much worse.."

Bucky stared at him. "Seriously?"

The man nodded. "I don't think you'd want to know, though. I still have some pretty nasty scars from it. Never forgot it and never will."

Bucky gave a disbelieved chuckle and stared toward the sidewalk below them. They'd both been spending a bit more time outside. Being indoors all the time seemed to be boring Steve out, along with partly driving him insane, which Bucky had noticed. He had always paced back and forth through the living room of their apartment. But sometimes the man sketched. It seemed to vary day to day, which didn't surprise the former assassin.

"Did you hear from any of the others lately?" Bucky turned and looked back at Steve, who nodded. "Sam's been keeping in touch. Makin' sure we've been staying out of trouble."

Bucky gave a small, but amused smile. "Like anyone can keep _you _out of trouble. In fact, you seem to just attract trouble everywhere you go."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"On your left."

Both men looked up to see Sam walking toward them. He had an amused smirk on his face, clearly having heard the last part of their conversation.

"Oh, look who it is," Steve rolled his eyes and stood up, shaking Sam's hand.

"He ain't lyin'," Sam suddenly said and glanced at Bucky, who had stood up to stand beside Steve as well. "You're like a magnet."

"Not you too, Sam," Steve said dramatically. "Anyone else believe that?"

"Tony," Sam grinned. "And Natasha. Maybe Rhodes."

Bucky snorted. "Seems everyone's turning against you, Steve," he nudged him with his shoulder playfully.

The 3 friends laughed for a few moments, enjoying themselves. Steve was glad to have a moment of fun with his friend, after everything that's been going on for the past 4-5 months. It's been a while since the nightmare incident, but none of them forgot about it, which is quite obvious. Bucky still has nightmares, too, but only tells Steve about the less violent ones, mostly about his time as the Winter Soldier, and the torture and things he saw, but Steve could tell he was leaving out a lot of details.

"How you guys holding up?" Sam asked, glancing between Steve and Bucky, who looked at each other.

"Getting better. Slowly, but we're making progress," Bucky replied. Steve quickly nodded in response, rubbing at some of the bruising that still remained on his face.

"That's good," Sam complimented. "You guys still like each other right?" Sam grinned, clearly knowing the obvious answer.

Bucky and Steve stared at each other, then back toward Sam.

"No," Bucky stated blankly. Steve could tell he was trying his hardest not to break down right there and burst out laughing.

But it worked. Sam looked surprised. "You being serious?"

Steve shook his head and wrapped his arms around Bucky's shoulder. "Of course not. That's ridiculous."

"Yea. I was about to say. Unless Steve got brainwashed or something, I don't believe that some nightmare would split you two apart," Sam replied with a relieved expression.

Bucky grinned, and Steve was relieved to see that he didn't act offended to anything that Sam said about the nightmare. In fact, the things he said about it not being Bucky's fault seemed to be finally getting into the stubborn man's head.

"It takes more than that to split us apart," Bucky smiled toward Steve, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder.

"Figured that much," Sam laughed.

"So what brings you here?" Steve asked, turning back to Sam.

Sam shrugged. "Free day. Just making sure the two most trouble magnets around don't get into any trouble.

Steve glanced at Bucky and grinned. He noticed his friend's face blanch. "Hey- that- that isn't fair!" Bucky protested with a frown.

"Can be if you believe," Steve grinned.

After a few more hours of laughing and joking around, the two finally headed back to the apartment. It was a long day, but it was pretty fun, and both of them seemed to enjoy the break from the depressing mood. But it soon went back that way as soon as they entered the building.

"Gosh, I can feel the mood changing already. There goes happy," Steve murmured sadly.

They headed over and sat down on the couch, flicking on the TV to relax. For a few minutes they sat in silence, just staring at the flickering images on the screen in front of them.

"Do you...ever have nightmares about what happened?" Bucky suddenly asked, never tearing his eyes away from the television.

Steve was caught off-guard, and it took him a minute to ponder the question, which he obviously knew the answer to. "Every night...some are worse than others." He looked toward Bucky, who finally broke his stare at the TV in front of them to make eye-contact with his friend. He could see the wear and tear and exhaustion in Steve's eyes, he could also see a hint of resignation, as if accepting the nightmares would just be apart of him for as much time as need be.

He just nodded and then looked down at the floor, fiddling with his metal arm.

"Stupid question. Do you?" Steve asked, already knowing the answer.

Bucky looked up with a slightly annoyed and slightly humorous smile. "Well, that _is _a stupid question, but the answer is yes anyway."

Steve sighed and stared toward the ground. "You know...even the- more serious nightmares..you can tell me. So we can...prevent what happened before from happening again."

Bucky, instead of immediately protesting and saying that wasn't even an option, remained silent. He continued to fidget with his metal arm slightly before making eye-contact with Steve. "You know…" He gave a small smile. "Maybe that doesn't seem like a bad idea after all.."


	3. Chapter 3

It happened again, but this time not in the way neither Bucky nor Steve expected. The roles seemed to swap dramatically once again, and it was Steve who had the violent nightmare. Surprisingly, Bucky wasn't plagued with any, and slept quite peacefully. At least until Steve's screams woke him.

He entered his friend's room, seeing Steve rolling around in his bed, yelling the words, "No!" over and over again. Unfortunately, this was all-too familiar to Bucky. When Steve was younger, he had similar reactions to terrifying nightmares, but they were different back then. This time, he could easily predict what they'd be about.

Bucky rushed over to Steve's bedside, gripping his arm with his metal one. "Steve! Steve, wake up, it's just a dream!"

Steve froze for a moment, and, without opening his eyes, turned in Bucky's direction. All of a sudden, his arm lashed out, grabbing him by the neck. He was fully unaware of what he was doing, as he was pretty much completely asleep, but while standing completely upright.

Bucky choked, gripping at Steve's hand with wild eyes. His nightmares had been bad, but never _this _bad.

"I won't let you take him again!" Steve screamed, his fist suddenly colliding with Bucky's face. He shoved him against the wall, all the while Bucky was struggling desperately to both free himself and calm Steve down.

"Steve!" He croaked. His metal arm slammed roughly down onto Steve's, which, somehow, seemed to snap him out of it. Bucky instantly saw his friend's eyes fly open, revealing the hate-filled, light blue eyes stare back at them. They softened, but quickly turned to horror when Steve saw himself holding Bucky by the neck, along with the bloodied nose he had apparently given him. And a few bruises.

His grip went lax, and Bucky tumbled to the floor, grasping at his neck and gasping wildly for air. He was temporarily paralyzed, both from fear and complete disbelief in what had just occurred.

"Steve-" He coughed, pushing himself to his feet and wiping the blood from his nose with his sleeve.

The man stared at him with wild eyes, which darted to pretty much every bruise and cut across Bucky's face.

He soon saw the tears beginning to form in Steve's eyes. He blinked rapidly, as if trying not to let them show. "I'm sorry…" he whispered.

Bucky saw Steve look at his fist, clenching and opening it, as if to reassure himself he had control over his own body again.

He quickly walked over, leading Steve and sitting the man down on the bed. He sat next to him and stared at him. "Tell me about it," he said firmly. But luckily, Steve seemed to understand. He swallowed and nodded.

"It-" He shook his head, a wretched sob escaping his throat. His hands flew up to cover his face, unable to keep his composure. Bucky watched, his soul shattering, as Steve fell apart.

Despite everything, he'd _never. Not EVER, _blame Steve for attempting to injure him, like he had months before. He quickly enveloped the man in a hug, rubbing comforting circles on his back. "It's okay...It's not your fault."

Steve remained silent, but his grip on Bucky tightened.

"It was about you.." He finally said, gaze cast toward the ground.

Bucky pulled back, but kept his gaze on Steve, watching his expression gain even more misery than it already had before. "It was about the train...and I was there when they- cut what was left of your arm off..and when they tortured-" Steve swallowed, his breathing shallower.

"They hurt you…" He whispered miserably. "They hurt you...and I couldn't do anything…"

Bucky sighed and looked Steve in the eye. "Steve, don't blame this on yourself. I definitely will _never _blame you. It's not your fault you fell. It was too far of a distance to reach. And I'm fine. I'm here now. Still trying to recover, but I'm here. I still remember you and I'll never forget," he pulled him into an embrace, burying his head into his shoulder.

Steve embraced his friend in return, allowing the gut-wrenching sobs to take over him as he trembled in Bucky's grip.

Both friends sat there for about an hour, comforting each other, though Bucky was mainly comforting Steve, who broke into uncontrollable sobs each time he recounted his nightmare.

Finally, Bucky got up. "I'll sleep with you..It's only 1:00 in the morning. It might make you feel better."

Steve swallowed and wiped a hand across his tear-streaked face. "No..I don't- It's not a good idea. I might have another nightmare and-and hurt you again. Or worse.."

_And Bucky thought he was the one that worried about that.._

"You won't. I have a metal arm remember? I can easily subdue you, pal," He replied with a ghost-like smirk.

Steve reluctantly agreed and climbed back into bed. Bucky made himself comfortable beside him. Sensing his friend's discomfort and pain, he draped his flesh arm over Steve's back, as he was laying on his side, and let out a quiet, "It'll be okay, pal.." before drifting back off into sleep.

Neither of them had nightmares that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve blinked multiple times before becoming somewhat self-aware of what was going on. He had woken up from a surprisingly good sleep.

_Talking about it does help..Guess I gotta get that into Bucky's brain.._

He went to sit up, but quickly laid back down after noticing that Bucky had his head against him, sleeping peacefully. It made Steve a bit happier knowing that, despite his violent nightmare, along with Bucky's occasional bad ones, he managed to finally have some sleep without being ravaged by terrifying images.

Most of the time they weren't real.

Some were memories that just replayed in his head while he slept.

After a few minutes, Steve got out of bed, gently laying Bucky's head onto the pillows. Surprisingly, the former Winter Soldier didn't wake. He barely even flinched.

Steve smiled, sighed, and slipped out of the room. The morning light seeped through the windows, spraying a light-orange hue over the living room of the apartment, which, thankfully, was rather large.

It even had a balcony. They were on about the 5th floor, so it gave a pretty nice view. Both friends went there when they needed time to collect themselves and relax.

He picked up his phone, noticing the "5 text message" notification on the screen. Quietly, he grabbed a quick snack and headed out to the balcony. He sunk down into the comfortable chair and looked out across the rather-small city.

Steve opened the text messages, finding that they were from Sam. He read over them.

"_Hey, you alright? Your friend told me what happened this morning."_

"_You awake?"_

"_Probably not."_

"_Gosh your always sleepin' in, or its just me who wakes up too early."_

_Well that was relatable._

"_Well, when you wake up, text me back. I need to make sure you two are alright."_

Bucky told him about that? Well, not that he's surprised. Bucky was always a worrier, especially about him.

He texted him back.

"_Yea, I'm fine. Bit of a rough night, but Buck was a lot of help. Slept good once I got back to sleep. He seems to have done the same. Or is doing. He's still sleeping."_

There was about a 20 second pause before Sam texted back. _"Figured. You both had it pretty rough the past few months, wouldn't blame you."_

Steve gave a small smile and shook his head with a soft chuckle. His eyes turned back to the lit up screen. Sam had texted again

"_Hey uh, Tony's wondering if you two can pay him a visit some time. Says he's missing you."_

_Well, that's a surprise._

"_Yea. We'll probably head over. Once Bucky wakes up and we get ourselves situated. I'm going to let him sleep for now, he deserves it."_

"_Yea, he sure as hell does."_

He grinned and put his phone back in his pocket. He turned and saw Bucky standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. "Who was that?"

Steve got to his feet and stretched. "Sam. Checking in and making sure we were alright. Apparently Tony wants to see if we can come over a bit later for a talk. If your up for it."

Bucky smiled. "Of course, anything to get away from this place."

Steve grinned. "Yea. But let's get some breakfast first. Man, I'm hungry."

"You didn't eat anything since you got up?" Bucky asked.

Steve shook his head. "Didn't want to make too much noise and wake you up. You were sleeping so well, probably better than I have for the past year."

Bucky chuckled. "Apparently we traded off. I got to sleep well, you got poisoned by nightmares."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Yea. And…" he trailed off, sighing and sinking into a kitchen chair. He rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry..'bout last night.."

Bucky walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it, pal. I'm better already. I did a lot worse to you," He frowned slightly at the memory, but his smile quickly reappeared.

Rogers sighed and got to his feet. "Lets get some breakfast, then we'll head over there."


	5. Chapter 5

Unfortunately, they didn't necessarily get there as they expected. The quin-jet was shot down, and the two friends could do nothing except brace for the devastating and painful impact that followed; into the middle of absolute nowhere.

When Steve came to, he heard voices. Though, he figured that they must have been in his head, because he heard something about...more strangely, HYDRA?

He blinked open his eyes. The world was blurry for a few moments before his vision could properly focus on the unfamiliar room he was in. There were men dressed in strange suits around him, and he seemed to be sat in some sort of chair. When he looked, he saw restraints around his arms. He wasn't quite surprised to see them attached to his ankles and legs either.

Upon realizing that the man they had dragged back from the devastating Quin-jet crash was conscious, one of the men stepped forward, staring at him somewhat..expectantly.

Steve blinked in confusion. He realized that the other 4 people in the room had turned their attention to him as well.

"Who are you?" He demanded, glaring back at the man who stood in front of him.

"That is not important right now. You shall know, in time," the man replied.

_Yep. Definitely sounded like HYDRA. Did he seriously just get kidnapped after a quin-jet crash? Wait-where was Bucky?_

Steve glanced around the room rapidly, his eyes were wide in the fear that his friend wasn't here, but he landed on him a short distance away, his metal arm restrained quite well, and the rest of him tied up against a metal rod in the ground. His head was hung low, and he didn't seem to be paying any attention, or wasn't conscious. Steve couldn't tell.

The man in front of him noticed his staring, because he turned back to look toward Bucky and smiled. "Oh, don't worry about your friend. We aren't doing anything to him. In fact, we're here for you. He's just here to watch," he spoke the last word with such menace it frightened Steve. _What were they going to do to him?_

The strange man then took out a shiny, thin needle from his pocket. He stepped over to a table, located next to where Steve was sat.

_And damn, that needle was sharp._

Steve swallowed hard as the man approached him. "What are you doing? What is that?"

"Nothing much. And do not worry, it will only pinch a little. You'll barely feel a thing, Captain Rogers," the man replied.

Steve watched reluctantly as the needle poked at his flesh, and then entered his arm. Instead of feeling the light pinch as he was not really expecting, he felt a sharp pain radiate up his arm, which soon spread to his entire body. He let out an agonized scream as he attempted to free himself of the chair, but even with his own super serum, it proved unsuccessful.

The man pulled the needle from his arm, dark red blood dripping onto the stone floor below. He set the needle off to the side, placing it beside other sharp tools on the table.

"What do you want with me?" Steve growled, but it came out weaker than he expected, and he felt groggy.

The man chuckled and motioned another man, this one taller, over to him. As expected, the man obeyed, and came to stand next to the one that Steve had already encountered.

"You'll know soon enough," the taller man answered, glancing at the shorter man standing next to him with an amused smirk.

"Now be good and do not try to go anywhere. We are watching your every move," the shorter man said with a menacing grin. They turned away and walked out of the room, the 2 other men following. The door slammed shut with a loud bang, before the room went eerily silent.

Steve looked up, and noticed Bucky staring at him now. He could see the pain and regret in his eyes, and could make out a few tears as well.

"Steve-" he croaked, struggling weakly against the restraints. Steve noticed how bruised and cut his friend was. "I'm sorry-"

Steve shook his head. "What are you being sorry for? The quin-jet crash, or us being here? Because none of that is your fault."

Bucky murmured something inaudible and then went quiet. None of them spoke for a while, but Steve noticed his friend studying him, glancing over almost every part of him as if scanning him for any serious injuries to blame himself for.

"Buck, I'm okay," Steve reassured.

Bucky made eye-contact with him, and Steve could almost see the extreme quilt his friend was feeling. It was so evident in his expression. "I don't want you to get hurt because of me, Steve.."

"None of this is your fault," Steve replied with a gentle smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine.."

The door swung back open, and the same short man he had encountered earlier entered. He seemed to have a kind smile, but Steve could see behind that mask.

"Hello, Captain Rogers," the man greeted. He stopped at the table that had all of the tools piled atop it. He picked up a syringe and filled it with a strange, dark blue liquid.

Steve could see Bucky struggling violently in his restraints out of the corner of his eye. He focused back on the man in front of him, blue eyes narrowing. "What is that?"

The man smiled in reply. "It is only to make you stronger, Captain Rogers. It will prepare you for the trials we are going to put you through."

"Trials?!" Steve and Bucky shouted in sync, both men looking at each other, but Bucky had the most fear on his face.

The man shoved the syringe, quite suddenly, into Steve's arm, causing him to yelp in pain. He then injected the fluid, and the screams only increased, until Steve began to convulse quite violently. The man only looked on with a smile.

"STEVE!" Bucky screamed. "PLEASE! STOP! You're hurting him!"

The man chuckled and shook his head. "There is no way to stop. It is only a normal process of the injection."

Steve gasped and finally stopped convulsing. His head was throbbing horribly.

He blinked multiple times, but his world remained fuzzy. Then, he turned his head to look at Bucky, who was looking at him in, probably, in complete fear and worry.

"Steve?"

Then everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

When Steve finally came to, his whole body felt like it was on fire. He also took notice that he was in a different room by the smaller size and the different, brick-like texture of the walls. Though, he was a few feet off the ground, so he assumed he was on some sort of a bed, or a table.

"Steve?"

He blinked repeatedly to get the world into focus. His head turned toward the voice, and he spotted Bucky, having been moved, chained against the wall just like he was before. Steve noticed the look of concern on his face. There was also some resignation as well, as if he accepted he was unable to escape the bindings.

"Hey Buck," Steve croaked. He just now noticed how horrible his voice sounded. It couldn't have been out for too long. Perhaps it was just what was injected straight into his bloodstream.

Those affects seemed to have worn off, slowly. But he was reluctant to know what exactly that substance was.

The man attempted to get up, but found himself, unsurprisingly, strapped down to the table. There was a large machine hanging above him. He noticed that this must have been some sort of cell as well, based on the cell door in front of them. Steve could barely see it from where he laid.

"Wha' happened..?" He muttered.

He heard Bucky sigh, and heard the clinking of the chains as he shifted. "You passed out..after that man injected you with...whatever, you- you started seizing. It scared the living hell out of me."

Steve had lifted his head slightly, but allowed it to fall back onto the rough surface of the table. "Sorry.." he murmured.

"Wasn't your fault."

Steve laughed. A miserable, tormented laugh. "That sounds familiar."

Bucky remained quiet, and soon after he found out why.

The door swung open, and then locked shut again with a loud click. Steve barely had to look to see that it was the man from earlier. Surprisingly, he saw him walking over to loosen, but not take off, Bucky's chains, which confused both of them.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Oh, just making it easier for you to free yourself. Trust me, you can not escape this cell. It's made out of vibranium."

Bucky and Steve stared at each other in surprise.

_Where did they get their hands on that?_

He then shifted his attention over to Steve. He strode over smoothly and took a few tools from a similar table that Steve had seen before.

Rogers felt another prick in the arm, and then the man loosened his straps as well. It made it easier to move and, surprisingly, escape. But from the man's earlier explanation, it was nothing to get excited about, except for that he would be able to walk around at least a little bit of space.

"Enjoy your stay. Because trust me, you will be here for a while," the man exited the cell, locking door once again before he disappeared.

Bucky instantly threw the chains off and rushed over to Steve, clearly not badly injured.

"Steve!"

The straps were thrown off him, and Bucky enveloped him in a tight embrace, gently helping him off of the table.

Steve groaned. He felt woozy all of a sudden, and everything suddenly began to spin. He noticed the sudden weak feeling take over his legs and he collapsed into Bucky's arms, breathing rate suddenly increasing dramatically.

Bucky instantly eased both of them to the ground, taking most of Steve's body into his lap. The cold floor was uncomfortable, but it'd have to do. Better than that damned table.

"The hell did they do to you…" He murmured, cupping Steve's pale face for a second before resting his hand on his arm, squeezing.

Steve blinked groggily and looked up at Bucky. "'m feelin weird.."

"You'll be okay…" He reassured him, but mostly, he was reassuring himself. _This is definitely not where Steve was going to die. He would live a full and happy life and die from old age. Not from being tortured and injected with random substances._

Steve shuddered in his arms, breathing finally beginning to slow, but he felt, god, so utterly exhausted. And Bucky could easily tell when Steve had absolutely nothing left in him to give, and this was that time.

Bucky swallowed roughly. He stared at Steve's face. His skin had paled dramatically, and he had his eyes closed as he struggled to even out his breathing.

Steve suddenly blinked open his eyes. He made eye-contact with Bucky, and obviously seemed to know what he was thinking. "I'll be fine, Buck...don't _worry," _His voice was weak, but a ghostly-shadow of a grin appeared on his face. Bucky didn't seem reassured by that. He, himself, was sure that Steve was unaware of the danger that he was in. Although he didn't know what the substance was, he's sure it was anything but good.

Steve groaned in pain. His eyes shut again as he drew in sharp, painful breaths. He could feel the pain start to radiate through his body, and it was getting worse.

His head lolled to the side, which frightened Bucky, who quickly slipped his flesh hand under Steve's head. It was quite obvious that Steve had succumbed to unconsciousness again, as his breathing seemed to have leveled off, thankfully.

Bucky put a finger to Steve's neck. His pulse was sluggish, but he knew that Steve would be alright, at least for right now.

But he also didn't know how much more Steve could take.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as Steve came to again, the first things he heard were screams of protest, along with lots of struggling. He heard someone be shoved up against the brick wall, heard a gun, and then it went quiet. Not an awkward quiet, like the random silence that occurs, let's say, in the middle of a conversation. It was an uncomfortable, eerie silence; like something was wrong.

He slowly opened his eyes, once again having to blink rapidly to clear his vision. At times, black dots swarmed it again, but he fought for consciousness, eventually winning. Without seeing who it was, but having a pretty good guess, he heard someone drop down beside him, gently lifting his back, all while continuously shouting curses toward the two men, who Steve could clearly see, who apparently were trying to restrain him.

He heard harsh and labored breathing beside him, and then a weak voice.

"No! You're not- You're not having him! I won't let you hurt him again."

It was obviously Bucky, but by his trembling and weak voice, Steve could instinctively tell something was wrong.

He let out a soft groan and turned his head, instantly meeting Bucky's painful gaze staring back at him worriedly. Steve looked down toward the man's abdomen, noticing two bullet wounds, side by side. Blood was still flowing heavily from them.

Steve's eyes flew open quite quickly, and he managed to sit upright on the concrete floor, which was starting to be coated with blood.

The two men were staring at them, and quickly made their way toward them. Bucky jumped to his feet, standing protectively in front of Steve, who had a clear view of the blood. His breathing instantly caught in his throat painfully, his heart pounding.

"I won't let you hurt him."

The armed men paused for a moment, clearly knowing that Bucky wasn't capable of standing on his own for very long. Bucky's metal arm caught the wall, but it wasn't enough to keep him from falling onto his knees.

"Bucky!"

Steve grunted and got to his feet. He actually felt relatively better now, as if nothing had even been done to him, but he predicted it wouldn't last long.

"S-Steve, don't-" Bucky's breathing hitched painfully and he had a short coughing fit. "p-please.."

He knew that Bucky didn't want him getting hurt, but the two men definitely wouldn't leave them alone anytime soon, so he'd have to rid of them himself.

Unexpectedly, he swung his fist and knocked one of the men unconscious within a split second. The second barely had time to process what had happened before Steve's fist collided with the side of his face, knocking him into the same unconscious state as the other.

Steve spun around and collapsed in front of Bucky, whose metal arm was pressed roughly onto the bleeding wounds. He could see the blood seeping passed the metal fingers.

"Y-You're okay?" Bucky asked, squinting up at his friend.

"Relax, I'm fine.." Steve couldn't keep the fear and worry from his tone as he gently moved his friend's bloodied, metal hand away from the wound.

Steve felt like his heart just exploded from his chest.

The wound was nasty, and clearly hit somewhere it shouldn't have. Bucky would bleed out if he didn't get help soon.

"Damn it...damn it," Steve muttered. He placed his own hand on the wound, applying pressure. He felt Bucky's flesh arm come down on his and squeeze horribly tightly, but he didn't mind.

His panic only worsened when he felt Bucky collapse against him, his breathing quickening similar to how his had before he lost consciousness. "Don't do this to me, Buck.." He turned and gently eased Bucky's head down into his lap. His unfocused, blue eyes meeting Steve's.

"I'm getting you out of here," Steve said as he suddenly lifted Bucky into his arms and stood up. Bucky made a sound of protest, but it's not like he was capable of doing anything anyway.

He ran out of the open cell, nearly slamming into multiple people on the way. He tried his best to navigate the building, and finally found an exit leading to the outside world. It was surprisingly easy to escape, and no one tried to stop them. It made Steve nervous, though, because it was way too strange for them to allow them to escape so easily, as the man had said.

They eventually found a tree to hide behind. A road and a small town sat not far from it, but he had to make sure they weren't followed.

Bucky was gently lowered onto the ground. His breathing had turned into agonized gasps, which was starting to frighten Steve even more than he already was.

"Don't you die on me, Bucky. Don't you dare," Steve heard his voice crack, and couldn't help but let some tears escape his eyes.

Bucky let out a horrible laugh, "Don't you worry 'bout m-me, pal.."

Steve almost wanted to slap him. How could he say that? Clearly, he was unharmed, but Bucky was far from that.

His wound was still bleeding despite the pressure both of them attempted to put on it, and he could tell Bucky was getting weaker and more disoriented.

He attempted to sit up, but couldn't even get 2 inches off the ground.

Steve walked over quickly and sat down. He pulled Bucky into his arms and wrapped his arms around him carefully. Bucky had his metal hand on his wounds, but turned slightly in his friend's grip and used his flesh arm to grip at Steve's shirt.

"Steve-" he croaked, and for once in a while, Steve noticed that Bucky was crying. Real, tear crying.

He then let out a disturbing laugh, "I-I really don't want to say I-I'm scared, but t-then I'd be- I'd be lying.." He coughed again, this time specks of blood flew from his mouth.

"You're not gonna die on me. I already lost you once, I can't again." Steve murmured, lowering his head onto Bucky's shoulder.

He felt Bucky's flesh hand rub his shoulder. "You- You wo-" He was cut off violently when he suddenly started to convulse. Unfortunately, it sent more blood flowing from the wound, and now, Steve wasn't embarrassed to admit he was terrified.

He quickly pulled Bucky against him tightly, ignoring the blood staining his clothes. Bucky's hand had went stiff on his shoulder, but the rest of his body was shaking violently.

"Bucky! Bucky, calm down! Please, it's okay!"

It was a few more moments before Bucky finally stopped seizing. He sagged against Steve, and the man could hear Bucky's pained sobs as he gripped Steve like he was the only thing keeping him tied to the Earth.

"It hurts, Steve," he choked out. "make it stop.."

Steve felt his soul shatter. "I wish I could, but I am _not_ going to sit here and watch you die."

Bucky coughed and then gagged, doubling over as blood dripped onto the grass, staining it a horrible red.

He fell, but Steve slipped his hands under his friend and pushed him up by the chest. He then gathered him into his arms.

"I don't want to hurt you again, Steve," Bucky whispered miserably.

Steve began to sprint toward the town, where he could visibly see a hospital standing tall above the other buildings.

"You won't. You're not going to die."

Bucky closed his eyes and fell unconscious.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve quickly removed an arm, which was supporting Bucky's back, to open the door to the hospital. He instantly rushed in with him, and once one of the nurses spotted them, she motioned them to follow her.

They came into a dimly lit room. A completely level bed sat in the middle, which he quickly laid Bucky down on. The nurse then rushed him out of the room, leaving Steve to stand there in silence and in complete shock to what just happened.

A few hours later, after having to get some food in order to calm himself, he slowly made his way to the waiting room and sat down. It seemed like hours before a doctor walked in and called his name. "Steve?"

He hesitantly got to his feet and followed the doctor into the next room. She turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. "Your friend is out of surgery. You may see him, but I won't sugarcoat the fact that the damage was pretty severe, but you got him here just in time. Luckily, he's recovering quite quickly. He'll be ready to leave within the next 3-4 days."

Steve nodded. His tense expression had quickly dropped, turning into relief. "Thank you.."

The doctor led him into another room. As soon as he entered, he could see Bucky's pale form lying under some thin sheets on the bed. After another few seconds of exchanging words, the doctor left him alone.

As he walked over, he noticed the TV hung on the wall, and the comfortable-looking chairs on both sides of the bed.

He lowered himself down into one of the chairs and sighed. At this point, he had pretty much completely forgotten the day's events. The strange pain he was feeling became practically nonexistent.

Steve rubbed his hands over his face. He was extremely relieved Bucky would survive. He was able to save him this time, but last time…

He still can't get over that. The train, Zola, Hydra. Everything. It was just- How could someone possibly do such a thing to a human being? Transform them into some sort of weapon by brainwashing and torturing them?

He stood up and walked to the side of the bed. He stared down at Bucky's unconscious face. Though, he did notice the color returning, which was a good sign.

A couple minutes had passed before Steve finally saw signs of his friend awakening. He was instantly by his side when his eyes opened, blinking repeatedly before landing on him.

"Steve?" He croaked. His voice was still sore, but it was improving.

"Hiya, Buck," Steve smiled.

Bucky blinked once again and lifted the thin sheet off of his torso, revealing a heavily wrapped bandage around the area he had been shot. He smiled.

"Good news. You're healing quickly, so hopefully within 3-4 days we'll be outta here," Steve said, looking down toward Bucky.

He did a weak fist bump. "Yes! I hate hospitals."

Steve chuckled weakly. "I do too."

The peculiar pain he was feeling earlier seemed to return. Steve felt the same weakness he had felt in his legs before they had escaped, return, but this time the feeling seemed to spread to the rest of his body. He hadn't realized his face had gone pale until he noticed Bucky's concerned look.

"You okay, Steve?"

Steve blinked, looking momentarily confused. He nodded, but remained silent after. All the while Bucky continued to watch him closely.

An agonized gasp escaped him. The last thing he heard was Bucky yelling his name before he collapsed to the floor.

The next time he awoke, it was pitch black. He found himself lying in a hospital bed, similar to Bucky's, except the room was much more crowded with machines. He seemed to be attached to almost all of them. An IV was stuck in his arm, and he was attached to a heart monitor and pulse machine, which he noticed were uncomfortably low.

He felt extremely tired, and his entire body was sore. He also found it quite hard to move.

Once again, his vision was blurred, so he blinked repeatedly until he could make out more of his surroundings. He groaned from the pain and barely had time to blink again before he heard an extremely relieved and familiar voice.

"Steve! Oh, thank god," Bucky soon appeared at his bedside, a sad smile across his face. Steve noticed, pretty quickly, the dark circles under his friend's eyes, so he must have not got much sleep. He was too tired to ask why Bucky was out of bed, so he asked the next question that came to his mind.

"How long has it been?" He muttered. His voice was quiet and weak.

Bucky seemed to take a quick glance at the clock, located above Steve's head on the wall. "Been about a week. God, Steve, I was worried sick."

Steve's eyes flew open the rest of the way. "A week?" He broke into a coughing fit soon after, the sudden surprise seeming to have caught his throat off-guard.

Bucky placed a hand on his chest and lowered the surprised man back onto the bed. "Easy, pal. You're pretty sick.."

Steve blinked. "Sick..? I don't get sick anymore.." He muttered. "not much anyway."

Bucky shrugged, "Well...it's probably from all that damn stuff those guys gave you. Your body could barely handle it. You almost died. Heart stopped twice."

Steve's jaw dropped. "Twice? Gods...I'm sorry, Buck.."

He noticed his friend glance down, fidgeting with his metal arm. "It's fine. Not your fault.." he shook his head slightly, a few tears forming. "But it did scare the living hell out of me. Thought I was gonna lose you right after you saved me.."

Steve looked at his friend sympathetically and then attempted to get up to comfort him, but quickly found that his body barely moved. He grunted, and then went into a coughing fit. Luckily, Bucky got the memo, and gently eased Steve into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into his shoulder.

"'m glad you're still alive.." he murmured.

Steve gave a soft smile. "Ain't going anywhere."


	9. Chapter 9

It's been a few days since Steve had collapsed. The doctors had come in multiple times, but couldn't come up with a cure. They had no idea what was even in his system, and that he might just have to fight it off on his own.

But that wasn't going so well.

Steve's condition was gradually decreasing. He seems to just be continuously getting weaker and weaker as the days pass. His body is struggling to fight off whatever was in that syringe given to him while both him and Bucky were captured.

He was nervous that Steve wouldn't make it. And if he didn't….

_God, he can't think about that now. He has to stay strong, for Steve._

Bucky sat in the chair next to his friend's bed. Steve remained hooked up to a bunch of machines, some of which were continuously beeping with the slow pace of his heart.

He sighed and just watched Steve's chest rise and fall slowly. It was too slow for his liking, but he had to accept it. Steve was in serious trouble.

Thoughts floated around in his head. He ignored most of them though, as he just sat there and watched Steve's unconscious body.

The peace and quiet was soon interrupted by a sudden screech from the heart monitors. Steve's body began to convulse horribly, and multiple machines screeched loudly.

He jumped up and ran over, grabbing Steve's arm. "STEVE!"

The man's body continued to shake violently before multiple doctors rushed in. They quickly ushered Bucky, who was reluctant to leave, from the room.

He was stuck outside, forced to wait in horrible agony as the doctors did what they could to assist his friend. Bucky was struck with extreme anxiety, and the thoughts he ignored earlier flooded his mind once again.

_What if Steve died?_

_Would he die painfully?_

_He can't leave him...right?_

_Steve can't die! He's my friend and he said he'd be with me to the end of the line.._

They were interrupted by the door swinging open. The doctors emerged from the room and allowing him entrance back in to see Steve. Though, they warned him that he was in an extremely weak state, but he was conscious.

Bucky acknowledged that, and then quickly strode into the room to see Steve. The man groaned and turned his head weakly to watch his friend lower himself into the chair next to him.

"Hey…" he rasped.

Bucky gave a sad smile and sighed. "Hey..how are ya feelin'?"

"Not too great.." Steve murmured. His hand twitched.

Bucky leaned over and gripped Steve's hand gently. He noticed Steve's weak grip back on his, and it just felt horribly wrong..

The last time he had seen him this weak was when they were younger. But at the time, the small, skinny Steve was always being beaten up by his asthma, and multiple other illnesses that he was more vulnerable to due to how thin he was.

When he looked at Steve again, he could easily imagine the much younger Steve, lying in the hospital bed after catching a horrible case of pneumonia.

Steve didn't deserve this…

He coughed again, his grip tightening around Bucky's hand. He made an unexpected jerking motion upward, but Bucky instantly caught him in his arms and embraced him.

"It'll be okay, Steve.."

Steve coughed again, and he could somewhat tell he was smiling. "I know...hopefully," another coughed wrecked him as he tightened the embrace. The heart monitor's beeping gradually began to increase as Steve's distress grew. His breathing quickened.

"Hey, hey," Bucky cupped Steve's cheeks with his hands. "Look at me. Steve."

Steve managed to make eye-contact with his friend, which seemed to comfort him, as the beeping slowed down back to its normal rate.

"You okay?"

Steve swallowed hard and nodded, allowing Bucky to gently ease him back onto the soft mattress.

"Get some sleep," Bucky pat Steve's shoulder. "You need it. I want you to get better."

Steve didn't have the strength to reply, so he just gave a quiet nod and closed his eyes, letting the darkness swallow him.


	10. Chapter 10

_It was about 2:00 in the morning. Bucky quietly opened the door to him and Steve's shared apartment. Ever since his mum passed, he'd been willing to due whatever it took to take care of him, including comforting him from terrifying nightmares, which often triggered his asthma attacks if it got too severe._

_This was one of those times. He had went to get Steve more of his medicine and came back to find him trembling and muttering inaudible words in his sleep._

"_Steve!" He gently set his arm on his friend's thin one, shaking carefully, as if he were fragile, which he was. "Steve, wake up. It's just a dream..I'm here."_

_He heard Steve mutter a ,"Please, don't leave me! I'm sorry," before he jolted awake with a gasp. He took in quick, wheezing breaths as Bucky wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay, Steve.." He rubbed circles around his back. "Calm down..deep breaths." _

_Steve took in deep, but shaky breaths. The wheezing subsided after a moment._

_Thank god, no asthma attack._

_Steve collapsed into Bucky's arms and began to sob. He buried his head in his chest, his small, bony fingers gripping at his friend's shirt desperately, like a lifeline._

_Bucky instinctively rested his hand on Steve's head, muttering reassurances, often repeating them over and over._

"_You want to talk about it?" He asked softly. "It might make you feel better."_

_Steve pulled back and looked up at him for a moment. His__ eyes were filled with tears and it made Bucky's heart shatter just looking at him. _

_Steve swallowed roughly before nodding, turning to lean against Bucky's side._

_He started describing the nightmare surprisingly vividly. The amount of details were immeasurable, and Bucky was surprised his friend even had the courage to include even some of the smallest, yet painful ones. _

"_They- they came and took you from me...you said you wanted to g-go. T-that you wanted to get away f-from me," Steve muttered._

_Bucky shushed him, wrapping his arm around Steve's small frame and gently easing both of them down onto the bed. Steve began to sob again and he rolled over, his face buried in Bucky's side. He curled into a fetal position._

"_Steve, no one is going to take me from you, I promise. And I'd never leave you. I'm with you til the end of the line, pal," Bucky pulled Steve closer to him, using his free arm to rest it on top of Steve's, which was laying across his chest._

"_And if anyone wants to hurt you, they'll go through me first."_

Steve blinked open his eyes, taking in the fuzzy world around him. Truth be told, he didn't feel any better than the night before. In fact, he felt worse.

Bucky was by his side in barely a second. He heard the heart monitor's beeping increase just slightly, as Bucky's appearance caught him off-guard, but it quickly decreased again.

"Hey, Steve," Bucky greeted softly. "How are you feeling?"

He groaned and shifted slightly so he could see Bucky more clearly. "Worse…" he murmured, blinking repeatedly to get rid of the black dots threatening to consume his vision.

Bucky's look turned to one of concern quite quickly. "I'm sure they'll find something to help you. They have to.." He muttered, looking away for a second.

"Hey, Buck..It's okay," Steve reassured. His voice was getting stronger, but the dizzy and nauseous feeling definitely worsened.

Bucky lowered himself into the cushioned chair, running his hands through his hair. "I know...I'm sorry, Steve..I just- "He sighed, unable to find the right words to describe what he was feeling at the moment. His emotions were so mixed up...piled upon one another. It was difficult to place.

"I know...It's okay," Steve replied quietly.

Bucky flashed a soft smile toward Steve. He fidgeted again with his metal hand while staring toward the ground. It was silent.

_Bucky lowered himself into the chair next to Steve's possible death-bed. He didn't know whether his poor friend would die or not, but he'd come down with a serious illness that he was extremely vulnerable to due to his thin size. _

_He stared at Steve. He was laying under a heavy sheet on the hospital bed, his face pale. Too pale for his liking.._

_Bucky swallowed, then gently took Steve's fragile hand in his, rubbing it with his thumb. "Please wake up, Steve...I need a sign that you're okay…" He muttered, sighing in defeat when he didn't get an immediate response. He expected that, though. His friend was so badly sick, the doctors didn't know if or when he was going to wake up. _

_He remembered his friend collapsing to the floor the night before with great detail. It was about 8:00 PM, and he was displaying signs of pneumonia. Along with that came an asthma attack, which triggered even more coughing to the point that he couldn't breathe. Bucky had caught him when he had passed out and quickly rushed him to the hospital._

_He sighed, then looked back at his friend's unconscious form. Still no response, not even the twitch of a finger._

"_Please wake up.."_

Bucky was so caught up in his memories, he hadn't noticed Steve's weak arm tugging at his own. He blinked multiple times before facing his friend, gently grabbing his hand and rubbing it over with his thumb like he had remembered doing when they were younger.

Steve threw him a soft smile. "Thanks...I remember how you used to do this when I got sick.."

Bucky gave an amused smile. "At least you aren't that skinny, little kid anymore. Though, I do miss him a little."

Steve coughed once. "I can still be that kid, maybe just a bit bigger."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "And stubborner."


	11. Chapter 11

Steve woke up with an aching chest. It wasn't really a surprise, since his condition was worsening each day. If not each hour.

He took a glance toward a digital clock, which sat on a wooden table nearby. It read 2:54 AM.

_Well, he didn't sleep well.._

He groaned, allowing his head to fall back onto the soft, hospital pillow. His head turned slightly, and he could see Bucky sleeping comfortably on the couch positioned in the further corner of the room, which was quite big.

Bucky's been there for him through thick and thin, and he'd hate for him to have to go through immeasurable suffering because of his death. Though, he does faintly remember a few memories of where Bucky had gotten injured. Unbeknownst to him, the younger version of Steve had watched it happen.

_Steve paced back and forth through his and Bucky's shared apartment. It was 6:00 PM. Where was he? Bucky should have been back 2 hours ago. He had been convincing himself that Bucky was just running late, like he sometimes does, or someone stopped to talk to him._

_Or it could be a lot worse-_

_No, he couldn't think that way.._

_Despite his multiple health issues, he was getting down to the choice to go outside and search for him. It was around 30 degrees, which was a little too cold for him, but with multiple large coats he should be okay._

_Hopefully._

_A few minutes later Steve was fully dressed. The coats looked huge on his thin-frame. If he could just fatten up some more he wouldn't be getting so sick. Thanks to his weak immune system.._

_He opened the door of the apartment, feeling the icy wind prick his face repeatedly. He stepped down the stairs silently, glancing around the dark streets once he reached the sidewalk._

_Of course, Steve didn't really know where Bucky would usually go, but he decided that just searching as much as he could would be enough._

_It ended up being about another 2 hours of searching. It was 8:12 PM now. The wind had picked up, and it felt like needles poking at his face. It wasn't comfortable at all. The temperature was bad enough as it was. _

_The streets were eerily empty, and there were only a few other souls in sight. Very few cars passed him._

_Finally, he turned into an alley, where he could hear some aggressive arguing. He peeked around the corner, and his heart dropped into his chest. He could see Bucky, visibly mad, at another figure, who seemed to be much taller than him._

_He noticed that the taller man had some sort of weapon in a holster at his side. It wasn't a regular weapon, for sure.._

_Not wanting to end up being chastised by Bucky for getting himself into another mess, he stood and watched nervously. He was hidden in the shadows. He could hear a few words from their exchange, sometimes full sentences if he listened closely._

"—_No! If you think that I would ever tell you where he is-"_

"_You won't really have a choice, Barnes. I'll find him, whether you like it or not."_

"_I won't let you. You're going to have to go through me first. And if dying means you'll leave him alone, so be it."_

_Steve could instantly tell from Bucky's slightly panicked tone, that the conversation was about him. Of course, everything seemed to be about him these days._

_He swallowed roughly and continued to watch silently._

"_Alright then, soldier," the man snarled. He reached for the weapon, and instantly the argument turned physical. Bucky grabbed the man's arm and twisted, but the man, with surprising strength, flipped the shorter man over his shoulder and onto the cold ground behind him._

_Steve's breath turned to a loud wheeze, but he instantly settled his breathing, already knowing the man must have heard him, but Bucky didn't, as he was busy getting himself back to his feet._

_The tall man spun around, and Steve ducked behind the wall, breathing uneasily._

_God, please don't hurt him.._

_Not Bucky.._

_The man walked closer to Steve's hiding spot, whistling casually, as if he were just taking a stroll._

_Bucky spun around to face the man. "Hey! What are you doing?"_

_The man grinned. "It appears he has already decided to join us."_

"_Damn it," Bucky thought. "He came looking for me."_

_He didn't have time to reach the man before he reached behind the wall, lifting Steve up by the collar of his shirt. He squirmed repeatedly, breathing rate increasing._

"_Steve!" Bucky shouted, eyes widening as he came to a stop just in front of both of them._

_Steve was staring at him. Complete fear was plastered on his face._

"_B-Bucky!"_

_He growled. "Let him go, you bastard!"_

_The man only chuckled. "On second thought.." He threw Steve onto the ground, hard. Bucky made a run for him, and surprisingly, the man didn't intervene when Bucky cupped Steve's face, making sure he wasn't badly hurt. He then turned and glared up at the man with pure hatred._

"_What kind of hell is this?" _

_He didn't have time to realize the man had pulled out the weapon he had holstered to his side. It impacted his abdomen hard, sending him to the ground with a painful yell._

"_Bucky!" Steve coughed and began to shake, crawling over to his downed friend, who was forcing himself up onto his knees. _

"_Come on, Buck...you gotta get up," Steve felt his voice shake, just now noticing the blood beginning to drip onto the ground from the wound._

_Bucky took in multiple, shaky breaths. The man just watched in silence as Bucky failed to get up, only managing to get against the brick wall of the building, cradling an upset and scared Steve against his chest while he took heaving breaths, trying to recover._

_The man laughed. "You can't protect him like that."_

_Bucky growled, tightening his grip on Steve. "I'd rather try. You're not going to hurt him."_

_He ignored the fact that his abdomen was pretty much a bloody mess and just slammed the pain he was feeling into the deepest part of his mind where he could forget about it. At least for now._

_The man took a step closer. "Would you like to test that?" He pulled out the weapon._

_Bucky swallowed hard and nodded. He lowered his head onto Steve's shoulder, hearing his small, hiccuping sobs. He whispered reassurances into his ear as he shielded most of Steve's body with his own. "Shh, I'm here. It's okay.." He lifted his head and stared up at the man with an, "I dare you," look on his face._

_He looked back down at Steve, who was gripping his shirt desperately with his bony fingers. _

_When he looked back up, the man was gone._

"_Huh?"_

_Bucky didn't loosen his protective grip from Steve until he did a full scan of the area. The man must have fled, strangely._

_He then began to feel the effects of the wound, which was still bleeding. His grip on Steve loosened._

_Steve lifted his head and looked at Bucky, then down to the wound. Bucky laid his head back against the wall, listening to his own labored breathing. He could feel himself shivering. Not from the cold, but from the extreme pain that was starting to take over his body. But he couldn't lose consciousness; not with Steve here._

"_Steve.." He breathed in exhaustion, turning his head to the skinny kid next to him. He instantly met his tear-filled eyes and instantly wished he hadn't._

"_W-We can't stay h-here," Steve stuttered, tears still flowing down his face. "Y-You have to g-get up," He tugged weakly on Bucky's arm, which completely shattered the man's heart. _

_Bucky placed his left hand on his wound, blood soaking between his fingers. He let out a small, pained gasp and instantly found himself squeezing Steve's small hand._

"_I'm okay…" He muttered. He knew he wasn't, but he couldn't scare Steve even more than he already was. If that was even possible._

_Steve caught on pretty quickly. "No you're not.."_

_Bucky coughed again and grinned, some blood dripped down his mouth. "Can't ever get a l-lie passed ya, can I..?" His head lolled to the side soon after. Another groan escaped his lips._

_He could hear Steve's panicked breathing, and felt a hand press against his wound roughly. His grip on Steve's hand suddenly tightened extremely as he let out a pained gasp._

_Steve instantly drew back, seeming to ignore how hard his friend was squeezing his hand. "Sorry-"_

"'_s okay.." Bucky murmured, on the verge of unconsciousness._

_Steve got to his feet, once again trying to assist Bucky to his. He was trying, in all honesty, but his feet couldn't support his weight, and he tumbled to the ground and landed on his side._

"_Bucky! Please, please- you have to get up," He tried again, but Bucky barely moved this time. His breathing was uncomfortably fast._

"_Steve.." Bucky muttered. "'m sorry.." _

"_Shut up," Steve replied. "If you die on me, I-" He shook his head, and a gut-wrenching sob escaped him as he wrapped himself around Bucky. He pulled Steve back and cupped his face with his hands. "Hey," he rasped. "Steve, look at me."_

_Steve hesitantly moved his gaze over to his friend's face. _

"_I'm going to be okay, alright?" He wiped one of Steve's many tears away._

_Steve nodded, but Bucky could tell he didn't believe him._

_What a stubborn kid.._

"_I swear," He muttered, pulling his friend against him._

Steve blinked his eyes open again. He had realized that he had fallen asleep while recounting one of his worse memories from his past. Bucky was watching him with a smile on his face.

"Hey.." He muttered, remembering the condition he was in.

Bucky held up a bag of food. "Hey. Brought you some food. I guessed you'd be hungry, and the doctor said you could eat now."

Steve grinned.

"Oh, and Sam's coming to visit."

Steve's grin grew wider. "Finally, another visitor."

Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Shut up and eat your food."


	12. Chapter 12

The doctors had allowed Steve to leave the hospital a few weeks later. His condition hasn't changed, but they found it better that he should be somewhere familiar. His condition was still worsening, but since the doctors still haven't found anything to help him, it would be better if he was somewhere he actually wanted to be.

Bucky helped Steve off the bed, slinging his arm over his shoulder and helping him out of the hospital. Steve was still barely capable of walking, so most of his weight was on Bucky.

"Hang in there, pal," Bucky grunted as he lifted the semi-conscious Steve back to his feet.

It took a while, but after about an hour, they made it back to the apartment that they shared. It was about 7 PM, so Bucky insisted that both of them get some sleep. Of course, Steve instantly fell into unconscious not even a few seconds later, so that was easy.

Bucky had pulled a blanket onto the floor into the living room, along with another one and then a pillow. Steve had insisted he would sleep on the couch, so Bucky decided that he needed to watch him, in case he started seizing again.

Though, both of them had fallen asleep, but Bucky's wasn't peaceful.

It was _far _from peaceful.

_The Winter Soldier walked into the dark room. Captain America, his mission, stood a few feet in front of him, shield attached to his arm. Bucky's heart ached watching this, as he knew how much Steve was trying to knock some sense back into him. But this wasn't just a flashback..it was a nightmare, since he noticed the changes to it._

_The Winter Soldier only stood there for a few moments, and his gaze had softened somewhat while staring at the man in front of him. It hardened quickly, and he charged, swinging his metal arm to collide with Steve's shield with a large bang. Bucky screamed for it to stop, before Steve got hurt, but he was pretty much forgotten about in the Winter Soldier's tortured mind. HIS tortured mind._

_Steve dodged his attacks pretty well, and at a point he managed to knock the soldier off his feet. But it didn't last long, as the Winter Soldier had almost instantly jumped back into attacking him. Multiple times, Steve had attempted to reach Bucky, but it failed miserably._

"_Bucky! B-Bucky, please-" the shouts were hoarse, not unlike Steve's voice when he was capable of fighting like he was. It confused him, dazing, even._

_The Winter Soldier paused, and then slammed his metal fist into Steve's face, sending him backward onto the floor._

"_STOP!" Bucky screamed inside the nightmare desperately. He could already begin to see the blood flowing from Steve's nose._

_Another voice, this time weaker, and he could hear wet coughs in between. _

"_Buck- Buck, please…"_

_The Winter Soldier paused again, looking around the room to see if anyone else was there, or had been there, but he found that there wasn't._

_Another punch to Steve's face, then one to his ribs._

"_B-Buc-" the voice was cut off by ragged breathing._

_Bucky suddenly realized what was happening, and screamed to be let out of this horrid nightmare. This one, he wouldn't recover from. _

_Not for a long time._

Bucky snapped back to his senses. He let out a gut-wrenching sob when he saw Steve on the floor, his metal arm around his neck. Bruises covered his face, and he had his arm on his abdomen.

He ripped his metal arm away from Steve's neck, letting himself drop to his knees and crawl to his friend's side, lifting him somewhat upright. A weak groan escaped Steve's lips as he took repeated, heaving breaths. His eyes were only barely open.

"N-N-No...I-I'm s-sorry," Bucky stuttered, tears flowing down his face.

"Bucky.." Steve breathed. His head lolled to the side, blood dripping from his mouth.

Despite the horrid guilt rising inside him, he cupped Steve's face with his hands, lowering his forehead onto his and crying. He didn't care how weak he looked, because he was. For letting himself get trapped in a stupid nightmare that ended up hurting his best friend. _Again._

"I-I gotta get you to a h-hospital," Bucky stood up, trying to get Steve to his feet, but he was pretty much dead weight despite being conscious. His feet buckled and he fell to the floor gasping.

"Come on, Steve..You- You gotta get up," He tried to lift his friend again, but he let out a quiet groan and fell to the floor, but this time Bucky caught him, easing them both down to the floor in a sitting position. Bucky instantly eased Steve into his lap, cradling his head while repeatedly sobbing in complete agony.

"Steve, please.." He pleaded, letting his forehead fall onto Steve's horribly bruised one.

Another loud, wheezing breath escaped Steve. His eyes slowly blinked open to look up at his horribly distressed friend. It reminded Bucky of when Steve had asthma, though he was a lot smaller.

"Buck.." he breathed weakly. He took another heaving breath, coughed, and then spoke again. "I'm not- I can't-" He gasped painfully, his grip on his abdomen tightening. His body jerked up, but Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace. He could feel Steve collapse against him.

"I'm so sorry.." Bucky muttered.

"It-It's okay.." Steve breathed. "It's-" He seized slightly, but it stopped quicker than Bucky had expected.

Steve's head lolled to the side and he took another heaving breath. Bucky knew that Steve wouldn't survive this, as his system definitely shouldn't even be able to fight the virus at this point, now that he weakened him like this. He could already tell Steve was starting to succumb to it.

Steve coughed violently, his chest heaving.

Despite knowing what Steve's fate would be, Bucky was beginning to deny that this was happening.

"P-please don't leave me, Steve...I-I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to-" Bucky was cut off by Steve's shaky hand reaching up and brushing against his face. Bucky instantly grabbed it.

Steve shuddered again, a weaker breath emitting from his nose.

Bucky let go of Steve's hand, cradling his head against his chest. He allowed more gut-wrenched sobs to escape as he leaned over his dying friend's body.

_Why couldn't this have been him?_

_Why is it always Steve?_

"I don't want you to die.." His voice cracked.

Steve opened his eyes slightly, "It's okay.." His voice was soft, but still extremely weak.

"N-No, it's not.." Bucky shook his head.

Steve didn't reply, but his hand shakily moved up and brushed Bucky's cheek, before falling limply back at his side.

"It'll…" Steve took a wheezing breath. "be okay.."

Bucky didn't respond. He only shook his head in denial that Steve was going to actually die. In his arms. From his doing.

_It's all my fault.._

_God DAMN IT, why did it have to be Steve?_

Steve let his head fall against Bucky's chest, his breathing starting to become even more unstable as he struggled to pull in oxygen. Bucky's crying didn't subside at all. He picked up Steve's hand, brushing it with his thumb.

Steve gave a weak smile and huffed out one last breath before his body went limp, and Bucky just stared at him, while letting out hiccuping sobs.

He pulled Steve's lifeless body against his own and cried.


End file.
